Why You Might Feel Lonely


Humans are inferior to computers for a handful of reasons, one of the most frustrating of which is inability to electronically transfer information. Information stored on a computer can be copied, moved, deleted, written, or otherwise in a matter of split seconds. They can talk with one another almost instantly. Meanwhile, if humans want to talk, they have to use their mouths to vibrate the air around them and hope that another human is able to convert those sound waves into audible information that he or she understands.

Similar to two computers trying to communicate, however, there are several points of failure for us. You could use the wrong words. You might have trouble understanding through someone’s accent. You may not hear the other person. You could just be at a loss for how to communicate what you may understand very clearly yourself. Whatever it is, there are plenty of ways to break the line of communication between two people. Carl Jung (Pronounced with a “y”), a prominent psychologist during Freud’s era, is credited with saying that loneliness is caused by feeling an inability to effectively communicate with others — not the number of people around you. Specifically, he mentioned the importance of communicating things which are important to you.

When you can’t communicate, or at least feel like you can’t, you put up walls of isolation whether you mean to or not. It’s the dreaded “alone in a crowded room” cliche. Think of a time you’ve felt lonely; has it been for this reason? Did you find something important which you didn’t have a way of expressing? Maybe you did, and no one else found it of value.

Now turn the table. Have you ever shut someone out who wanted to communicate something they felt was important? Has anyone ever felt they would be unable to communicate with you effectively because of a past way you responded?

Sometimes we need to communicate. Other times we need to allow ourselves to be communicated to. Both are important.


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